Weekend rides and March weather rollercoaster

Forecaster says expect more jungle heat and moisterlies. 

-- Saturday 25 and Sunday 26 February 

SATURDAY 0700 Newmarket depart (cnr Khyber Pass) for Karekare via the first bit of ‘butter chicken’ (to Forest Hill Rd). Tour mode.

SUNDAY 0600 LABC HQ depart for Hunuas. Trouser training mode.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and doping for the hair

Following his admission of "contact' with blood doping specialist Dr Eufemiano Fuentes, disgraced TdF winner Jan Ullrich is appointed ambassador for a hair product with the slogan 'Doping for the hair'   

-- Saturday 18 and Sunday 19 February

SATURDAY

0700 Mechanics Bay depart for gentlemanly-paced Whitford, Sandstone, Airport, Poo Ponds loop. 

SUNDAY

0600 Newmarket depart (crn Broadway and Khyber Pass) for fair Waitaks loop. Out via Butterchicken, Waitakere, and Bethells. Return via Scenic Drive.  

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and family Christmas portraits

WTF!?

- Saturday 17 and Sunday 18 December

SATURDAY

0600 (should it NOT be raining) LABC HQ depart for somewhere. Make it up as we go.

0700 inner city park MTB special departing top of Long Drive

SUNDAY

UPDATE: 0600 LABC HQ depart for Hunua loop. Back 0930-ish

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and the moral decay of once proud sports clubs

Volatile female members groomed. Outrageous!

-- Saturday 10 and Sunday 11 December

SATURDAY

0700 Mechanics Bay depart for Whitford/Sandstone/Redoubt and gentlemen-paced Pooh Ponds.

SUNDAY

Who knows.

A few LABCers riding the Telstraclear Challenge.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and digitally remastered greatest hits

"It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark under the moonlight"

-- Saturday 3 and Sunday 4 December

SATURDAY

0630 Grand depart from Bike Albany on Paul Matthews Rd, Albany, for Telstra Clear Challenge course tester. Get a taste of a course profile that looks very much like a fun filled roller coaster.

Plan is 1.5 hours out/1.5 hours back. Return to Bike Albany by 1000.

0700 Mechanics Bay depart for gentlemen-paced Pooh Ponds.

SUNDAY

To be advised (will update Saturday evening. At this stage Sunday weather looks crappy).

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and erection promises

"I'll be gone by lunchtime - that I can promise you."

-- Saturday 26 and Sunday 27 November

SATURDAY

A nice ride around Lake Taupo. Gale force moisterlies never hurt anybody.

Otherwise try 0700 Mechanics Bay depart for gentlemen-paced ride traveling via Pakuranga, Howick, Whitford Gorge and Sandstone, and then the Pooh Ponds.

SUNDAY

Who the hell knows.

Weekend rides and political tea-bagging

"Winston! Kingmaker my arse...Is that your glasses case?"

-- Saturday 19 and Sunday 20 November

SATURDAY

0700 LABC Gentlemen’s division departing Mechanics Bay for Pakuranga, Howick, Whitford Gorge, Sandstone, Airport Loop. Steady pace but with a bit of a punch in the pants around the airport.

SUNDAY

To be advised.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into

Weekend rides and golfing handicaps

"What's all the fuss? Some of my best friends are black arseholes."

-- Saturday 12 and Sunday 13 November

SATURDAY

0530 Newmarket (Broadway/Khyber Pass) depart for Eastward Hunua loop. Approx 150km. This will be tough.

0630 Newmarket (Broadway/Khyber Pass) depart for rolling West-Northern route to Helensville via Glen Eden and Waitakere, returning Peak Rd, Kumeu and the cycleway. Approx 140km and 1,048m ascent (per MMR – round Taupo is 1,150m). Pockets of tmepo riding.

0700 Mechanics Bay depart for gentlemen-paced ride traveling via Pakuranga, Howick, Whitford Gorge and Sandstone, and then the Pooh Ponds.

SUNDAY

To be advised.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and giants of triathlon

Fancy a lei? German adult entertainment industry veteran pounds elite field at Exterra World Champs. Spectator loses eye.

-- Saturday 5 and Sunday 6 November

SATURDAY

0630 LABC HQ depart for Hunua, Ararimu, Ramarama via Whitford return via Alfriston and Tuscany. Approx 145km; moderate pace.

0600 Newmarket (Broadway/Khyber Pass) depart for for Butter Chicken, Bethells, Karekare loop. Approx 130km; moderate pace.

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds.

SUNDAY

Any takers?

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and Gallic surprises

"Tastes just like chicken!"

-- Saturday 22 and Sunday 23 October

SATURDAY

0545 Newmarket (crn Broadway and Khyber Pass) depart for Waitaks...Butterchicken, Bethells loop, Scenic Drive, Karekare return. Always hurts a bit

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds.

SUNDAY

0600 LABC HQ depart for Hunua spin

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and shipping disasters

Reef my arse.

-- Saturday 15 and Sunday 16 October

SATURDAY

0545 Mechanics Bay depart for Eastern hills. (West moisterlies so East might be a better bet), Map My Ride says 140km and 1,070 metres gained. Brisk pace.

0630 Mechanics Bay depart for Titirangi via Hillsborough Rd, Scenic Dr, Karekare, Scenic Dr, Te Henga, Waitakere, Swanson, return via Glen Eden valley. Mapmyride: 120km, 1,256m (last week: 115km, 1,186m). Pace moderate.

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds.

SUNDAY

0600 LABC HQ depart for 3-hour recovery spin

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and cash on the sidelines

LABC finance spokesperson sees positives

-- Saturday 8 and Sunday 9 October

SATURDAY

0545 Newmarket (crn Broadway and Khyber Pass) for Waitaks...Butterchicken, Bethells loop, Scenic Drive, Karekare return. Might hurt a bit. Just a little.

0630 Mechanics Bay depart for Brett's Westward Trek: To Titirangi via Hillsborough Rd, Green and Wood Bays, Butter Chicken, Kay Rd, Waitakere, Te Henga out to the beach, returning to Newmarket via Scenic Dr and Titirangi. 115km. 1,186m. Medium pace.

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds.

SUNDAY

0600 LABC HQ depart for 3-hour recovery spin

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and K2 training

Mmmmm....Lean meat powder

-- Saturday 1 and Sunday 2 October

SATURDAY

0545 Newmarket (crn Broadway and Khyber Pass) for Waitaks...Butterchicken, Bethells loop, Scenic Drive, Karekare return. Might hurt a bit. Just a little.

0630 LABC HQ depart. Medium-pased Eastern special: Whitford Gorge, Sandstone then Redoubt Rds, Alfriston, Brookby, West Rds to Clevedon, Monument, Tourist, Creighton Rds, right onto Ardmore Quarry Rd, to Papakura for Hunua Gorge, Sky High, Twilight and Sandstone.

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds.

SUNDAY

Weather looks like crap.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and gallic chokeholds

Why you little....!

Saturday 24 and Sunday 25

SATURDAY

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately-paced Poo-ponds.

SUNDAY

Two LABC teams riding in the Race of Six Friends.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and little guy with big problems

Little guy, big problem

Saturday 17 and Sunday 18

SATURDAY

0630 LABC HQ depart for Thomo special: "For those that are keen for a ride tomorrow, I suggest we meet at Lunn Avenue at 6.30am. Hopefully we can get out and back before the weather cracks up later in the day. I will go even if there is a bit of rain provided it is not pouring. Keen for 120ks of hills and medium pace. Suggest we finalise the route in the morning depending on the weather."

SUNDAY

UPDATE: Sunday morning weather looks like crap. Remain in bed.

Weather looks wonky. Check back in Saturday night for Sunday morning riding plan.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and RWC kickoff

-- Saturday 10 and Sunday 11

SATURDAY

0630 LABC HQ depart for Reverse Thomo Loop (RTL). Auckland to Ramarama, via Sandstone/Redoubt Rds, Ararimu Rd, Gelling Rd, return via Hunua, Sky High, Twilight and Sandstone. Approx 100km. Medium pace with short bursts of wanton exhibitionism.

SUNDAY

Weather looks a bit spooky. No riding planned (unless someone indicates otherwise. Post plans in comments box)

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and perineum favourites

Tom knows: "I've got a second skin."

-- Saturday 3 and Sunday 4

SATURDAY

0600 Newmarket (crn Broadway and Khyber Pass) for Waitaks...Butterchicken, Bethells loop, Scenic Drive, Karekare return.

(Ride notes: We will ride in a nurturing, collaborative, and highly supportive environment. Riders 'losing contact' will not be ridiculed for weakness but, rather, congratulated for their improvement potential.)

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds.

SUNDAY

0615 LABC HQ depart for Huna easy spin: Hunua Gorge/John Hill/Clevedon/Twighlight. (Might be a few takers for the Maraetai leg home).

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and racing cuts

-- Saturday 27 and Sunday 28

SATURDAY - Weather OK but for the odd fog patch

0615 Newmarket (crn Broadway and Khyber Pass) for Waitaks...Butterchicken, Bethells loop, Scenic Drive return (there might be tears)

0700 Mechanics Bay depart for the hills......Sandstone via Chapel Rd, Whitford Park to Brookby Rds, Mill Rd then Redoubt back to Sandstone and back to Te Irirangi Airport loop.

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds.

SUNDAY - Weather OK, but for the odd spot of drizzle.

0615 LABC HQ depart for Huna spin. Ponga, Jones, Quarry, and Jebus.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and sponsored riders

-- Saturday 20 and Sunday 21

SATURDAY - Weather looks splendid

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds.

SUNDAY - Weather looks even better.

0615 LABC HQ depart for Huna spin. Talk of Ponga, Jones and Quarry, and Jebus.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.

Weekend rides and muff management

(J.McG's new weekend business. No experience, but I'll have a look at it for ya).

-- Saturday 12 and Sunday 13

SATURDAY - Weather looks OK

0615 Newmarket (Broadway/Khyber Pass) depart for Waitaks. It may hurt and we might be some time.

OR

0700 LABC HQ depart for Poo-Ponds hookup. Watch for a daring attack and furtive supplementation.

OR

0730 Mechanics Bay depart for moderately paced Poo-Ponds

SUNDAY - Weez gunna get wet.

0600 UPDATE: Hosing down. Stay in bed.

UPADTE: It doesn't look that bad

0630 LABC HQ depart for a gentle Hunua loop.

Let me see. Will post Saturday night update.

In the event of bad weather or disputes regarding the Rules, conduct, results and all other matters relating to weekend rides, the decision of the judge(s) shall be final and no correspondence or discussion shall be entered into.