Boxing day ride

-- Does this riding suit make my arse look fat?

LABC HQ 0600 grand depart for moderately paced ride through Hunua Gorge and home via Clevedon/Twilight and Sandstone.

For your own good.

According to Diet and Fitness Today we each should expect to burn about 3,600 Kcals - the energy hit delivered by 27 Heinekens (12 calories per fluid ounce/11 ounces per stubby).

Well, that's Christmas afternoon in the calorie burn bag.

The chicken adds a meagre 3,214 calories.

All that chocolate and pav and stuff doesn't really register.

See you there.

The Great Coromandel Dream Ride 2011

-- Saturday 12 February 2011

Same as last year.

Though there's talk of a pub stop on our merry way home (in case you don't drink a sufficiency on the return ferry trip).

Blimey.

0600 LABC HQ Grand Depart.

We'll weather check two-to-three days prior, to be sure.

All things fine you should pre-book a return ferry ticket here.

Hot tip: Last year I packed (in my bike shirt back pockets) jandals and board shorts. Makes the afternoon so much more comfortable. In any case, there's no panache in beer and lycra.

Ride organisers will forewarn the Peppertree of our lunch plans.

Proposed earlier stops include Miranda (coffee) and the Thames garden centre place (morning tea/first lunch).

Mark your diary now!

Round Lake Taupo Cycling Classic match report

(Dramatic and taut)

-- LABC's McGechie reports

In a dramatic and taut finish, Gnarls pipped McGechie on the line at last weekend’s Round Lake Taupo Cycling Classic.

Overall victory on the day however went to Trade Tools team member Simon “Calves” Mcleay who saw off the challenge of both Ricochet and Missingham.

Mad Dog Muzza rode gamely on to snatch (is that like a mirkin?) a gallant third place, closely followed by Whizzer Wilson, Wily Webster, and then the Flying Finch, with the Cable Bay kid close on his heels.

Fighting through a haze of cramp induced pain came Mikey Pee, lamenting his lack of performance enhancing substances carried on the day.

As the two teams gathered together in the afternoon to discuss the race and partake of suitable post race refreshments every pedal stroke was relived and considered.

Later in the evening, as the Pinot flowed like the Ganges, a truce was declared and the conversation then turned to plans for next year’s assault on the Taupo ride.

Photo gallery

(Not mine. I'll stake my ball on that)

(When he's not cycling McKelvie is a concert pianist)

(Look, Vino, this steak is fine. I know the butcher)

(Mmmm, burnt sausage head)

Shock move for LABC Taupo team

-- Controversial axing overshadowed by large peleton of strange names

LABC PRESS RELEASE - Auckland:

In what can only be described as controversial circumstances, LABC team captain “Whizzer Wilson” has axed club stalwart Martin “Thomo” Thomson from the club’s A team for the upcoming annual Round Taupo Classic.

In the face of a mounting challenge from the Legendary Trade Tools Team of Mcleay, McFinch and McGechie, Wilson has been forced to bolster his team with club “gun” Richard “Ricochet” Carter .

The team will therefore be made up the aforementioned “Whizzer”, John “Gnarls” McKelvie and of course the indubitable “Ricochet”.

Understandably Thomson is somewhat gutted by this turn of events in what would have been his tenth consecutive year of riding the daunting 160k.

Furthermore it has been reported that Wilson has gone one step further by bringing out even more of his “stars” in what could be construed as almost a desperate bid for honour.

Thus lining up in LABC colours will also be Pete” Lostpork” Missingham , Andrew “Wily” Webster, Doug ‘Cable Bay Kid’ Todd, Mike “ Its All About The Bike” Pengelly‘, and club co-founder, Murray “Handkerchief” Gate.

Predictions are that “Ricochet” should finish so far in front of Clydesdales such as McGechie that he will have time to start the afternoon’s proceedings at about 10.00am.

Ends.

LABC confirms North Island tour

-- 2011 Autumn Classic - Auckland to Wellington six day tour; first day Auckland to Raglan. Ouch! Tour fully booked.

On Saturday, 5 March, 2011, at a time agreeable with weather conditions and the emotional state of LABC riders and their supporters, a peleton of 20 LABC riders will depart for Wellington.

Taking in some of North Island's most popular destinations - notably Mangakino, Ekatahuna, and Dannevirke (home of the sign with a Viking in a posing pouch - WTF!) - riders will cover a total of 835km (averaging 139km a day).

Tour organiser Whizzer Wilson says there are two openings for support van drivers.

Finding God

-- Ever elusive Lord pops up all over Coromandel

Ever the opportunist, God has singled out cyclists for a new recruitment drive.

LABC members competing in the recent K1 and K2 road race reported multiple sightings of the big fella’s second in command, The Holy Ghost.

A source familiar with cycling-themed religious encounters said member reactions were mixed, with angry fist shaking contrasting more conciliatory communion pitched at merciful intervention.

Other members went further, recanting heretical views in the hope that blessed acquiescence would somehow propel them to the finish line faster than under their own Godless steam.

Photos here

Putting the brakes on rough rim jobs

-- Act now! Protect yourself from aluminium pimples and harsh scratching

Best known for his theories on "the continuous vector" and secrets of the auto brain Doctor of Bicycle Engineering Mike P's recent critique of the collar helmet tells us that it is better to maintain properly working brakes to minimise crash risks than contemplate the potential for idiotic inventions.

However, while better braking is a vastly more dignified approach to accident prevention, there is more to braking than meets cyclist eyes, and we all could do ourselves, and our wheels, a favour by practicing safer rim job hygiene.

Mike P explains, with photos

Aluminium galled rims:

"What a crappy rim-braking surface looks like. Those little pimples are aluminium in the process of rolling into small spheres ready for transfer to the brake pad. In that form, the spheres are aluminium-oxide on all surfaces, and become one of the hardest grinding materials around." Mike says.

Before and after grinding brake pads:

"A pad, before and after aluminium removal and grinding clean on a bench grinder. Even light braking was previously accompanied with harsh scratching and grinding sound, and had a kind of hard skating feeling. After wet&dry block sanding the rim’s braking surface enough to remove the deforming aluminium, and clearing the pads, braking is now soft, smooth, progressive and probably similarly as effective as it was when the bike was new," Mike says.